Apologies for being so AWOL this Thanksgiving weekend. I’m totally busy and always running around like a nutcase and working until 3 am on Black Friday and generally I’m exhausted and ten million things are going through my head at once.
I am the wild Sammi, and I have successfully relocated from the city to the suburbs. I really hate this driving stuff again. It’s much easier to just hop on the train to get where I need to go. Plus I get to work on Black Friday restocking until 3 am, so I’m pretty excited for that. I don’t sleep anyway, so hopefully that will tire me out and I can just collapse on my bed and become Rip Van Winkle. But here I am, sitting in my room missing my roommate Cyndi because who else can I talk with about how V (from BTS) has the prettiest mouth in the whole world? No one really indulges me with that home. I mean I’m not miserable here, I love seeing my parents and my dog and I guess my brother hehehe but I feel a little displaced. It’s like even my room feels like some kind of strange Twilight Zone and I’m not supposed to be here anymore. I can’t really explain it, but maybe it has to do with growing up, because I’m realizing now that I’ll be getting an apartment next year and crying into my ramen about taxes and bills and UH I can’t think about my future right now, I can barely focus on short term stuff without losing my marbles. Like the three essays I have to write in the span of three weeks, or the short story I have to have finished for a contest by the end of the month. HECK SAMMI STOP IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT DON’T WORK YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING WHILE YOU’RE JUST ENTERING YOUR SLEEP WINDOW. Oh, don’t worry gang. My adult problems are going to be overwhelming my blog posts at some point early next year. Either that or my posts will become incredibly whimsical and outlandish, in which case my anxiety has spiraled so out of control I’ve entered a state of utter hopelessness and cannot cope in any other way than ranting about how amusing the shape of a squirrel’s mouth is. This is a true statement. What is it with me and mouths today?
It’s feeling like a weird kind of displacement right now. Like I don’t feel completely at home here in New York but I’m also not completely at home in Boston. However I do call both of them home, but I’m not sure what to do about my crazy brain that’s been stressing over everything. Honest to god the one thing that’s kept me sane this break is that I got into Death Note. Wow. This show is amazing. Oh my goodness I love L more than anything he’s such an adorable lil squish. He just sits around all scrunched up and acting like such a smartypants, I love it. My second favorite is Ryuk, he’s HILARIOUS. I remember when I was younger I was terrified of him because I thought he looked so so so so scary. Now I’m sitting here like HA LOOK AT HIM HE LOVES APPLES AND JUST FLIES AROUND WHILE NO ONE CAN SEE HIM.
So that’s my life. Short blog post. Existential crisis. Drowning self in anime to ignore all the problems in my life. And I said that I’d give a tour of my room when I went home for Thanksgiving, but I haven’t had time to sit down and do nothing, so I’m going to postpone that delightful little plan until winter break in a few weeks. I’ll catch y’all later, I’m sitting here ROOTING FOR L. YOU SUCK LIGHT.