Snow 4 Days: A Short Anecdote

This really is a short anecdote, but it’s a lesson to tell you all that if you want Fun Dip, go after that Fun Dip. That’s your Fun Dip. Fun Dip for life. I hope my dentist isn’t reading this…

It’s really not that bad. Remember, my first time in Boston was three years ago during that wild winter when the snow piles were bigger than me. We’re getting about 20 inches over today and tomorrow. We actually had a snow day today. Do you think that stopped me from deciding at 1 pm to trek to CVS for some Fun Dip? No. Not at all, because I just NEEDED sugar in the form of Fun Dip, and goddamn I was gonna get it. Also I’m a New Englander and we go hard when it comes to snow. There could be five feet of snow out there, but if I decide, “You know what, I need a box of pasta” then I will get that pasta. If I have to bring skis to do it, I will. Weather is an illusion.

Okay, so I did get that Fun Dip, but at a cost. And they only sell Fun Dip in bulk like this for Valentine’s Day. OOOH SO SCRUMPTIOUS.

First Cyndi volunteered to bravely go with me. And by volunteered I mean I leaned over her in bed and harassed her until she got up to come with me. And hark! My dear friend Julio wanted to go as well, “for the whimsy” he said. Julio likes to be daring, and so he was totally down for walking out into the semi-blizzard. My Fellowship of Fun Dip assembled, we bundled up and headed out into the snow.

Let me tell you about the conditions. The snowflakes weren’t that big, it was that kind of powdery snow, you know? So the snow wasn’t bad. I’ll tell you where we ran into trouble. THE WIND. THE DAMN WIND. I could barely open the door to go outside it was so strong. And then I almost slipped on a grate and died. It was truly a harrowing experience. The wind was so strong it felt like the snow was stabbing me in the face, like there were little needles dabbing at my skin. Seriously, I had to look down the whole way and Cyndi was clinging on to me the whole time. And then there was Julio, who was just going “OOH SO BRISK OOH” the whole time. I’ll sum up Julio by saying he’s a strange bird. I can’t explain him, you just have to meet him to even vaguely understand what I’m talking about. So we had Julio making strange comments and noises while we trekked through the tundra to reach CVS.

Entering CVS wasn’t to interesting. I entered, saw my Fun Dip, and snatched it. And a Reeses’ Egg too. That shit is delicious.

Walking back was worse because the wind was RIGHT IN MY FACE. RIGHT UP IN IT. I tried walking behind Julio to shield myself but he walks too slow, and I had to brave the elements by myself. SNOW WENT DOWN MY NECK. IT WENT INTO MY POCKETS. I’M NOT EVEN LYING. What a wild time it was. Stay warm my New Englanders. I love you all. PS, the Fun Dip box is upside down because I was so excited about it I opened it on the wrong side. Doesn’t matter, I still get Fun Dip.

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I am my own Valentine, haters

 

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