Where Have You Been?

I know, my adoring fans, where have I been? In school, just doing my stuff. Stressful stuff of course, or else I would have been here blogging for all of you. But here’s the biggest update: in two weeks I’ll be a college graduate. YEAH. I KNOW. So I think that’s a good enough excuse to not be super active on my blog, right? I hope so. Sorry y’all.

Anyway I have a small checklist of things I need to do. The thing is, it’s a small checklist filled with big things. Read two more books for class, though that’ll be easy. Then there’s the 20 pages paper and the mental health advocacy campaign I’ll have to create and present, and passing over the literary magazine I’ve been a part of since I first stepped foot on campus to my dearest pals who will run it beautifully next semester. AND EDIT MY THESIS. Goodness me. Such a list. I’ll have you know that I live in the library, I haven’t seen the outside world in ten years.

Then there’s also jobs. I want to get all this done first before I commit completely to jobs. My resume and cover letter format is all complete and nice, I just have to actually apply now. The problem is I haven’t found anything that’s stuck out to me. I get worried, because so many of my friends and peers are getting these cool sounding jobs and I’m kind of frozen in fear and the absolute inability to focus on jobs right now. I don’t want to come ome for Christmas with people asking “Oh what are you gonna do now?” and have no idea. Because really I don’t. And my biggest fear is having nothing to do for too long when I get back to my apartment in January. That’ll make me way too stressed and overall life is stressful right now, and I feel like my success is being judged on how quickly I can get a job coming out of college. I’m scared of not taking a break to enjoy a couple weeks of freeness, but I’m scared of taking a break and having people tell me I’m lazy or not getting out there. I’m trying to do what feels right for my stress levels but it’s getting really difficult to manage and navigate. I think I’m gonna have one last meeting with my professor for the semester and talk with her about it, because it’s literally all I can think about.

So I’ll try to keep the rest of this blog post positive, or at least helpful, because I’ve learned a lot of things at Emerson, and I kind of wanted to list them in case there are any little ones out there reading this.

  1. Don’t be afraid to sit alone at the dining hall. I did it my first day and I made a wonderful friend who came and sat with me. She’s one of the most influential people I had to luxury to meet here.
  2. YOU CAN CRY. WHENEVER YOU WANT. PLEASE CRY IT’S OKAY WE ALL GET STRESSED AND SAD. Honestly, I barely called my parents the first part of freshman year and only came home for Thanksgiving and Winter Break. Nowadays I’m like MAMA COME GET ME PLEASE THERE’S A CENTIPEDE IN MY HAIR or something like that.
  3. Rooming with your best friend is a bad idea. Cyndi and I weren’t besties when we lived together, and the people who said they were my best friends turned out to either hate me for ridiculous toddler-logic reasons, or turn around one day and totally stab you in the back by saying they haven’t trusted you for a year but had no problem using you until they didn’t need you anymore. But don’t worry. You navigate and find your real friends. Which brings me to…
  4. Be kind to everyone. When I started talking with Laura about how we both love Marvel movies, I had no idea she’d be THE BESTEST PERSON EVER!!! But she is, and I would’ve never met her if I didn’t open myself up to new things.
  5.  Take the classes you like even if they don’t fit with anything. I took a TV writing class that didn’t do a thing for my major or minor, but I was interested. So I took it, and I learned a lot, not just about TV, but about writing in general. It was a great experience, even if I was one of two Writing majors in this Visual Media Arts class.
  6. Take a minor. And never feel like it’s too late. I declared my psychology minor the second part of Junior year and completed it the next semester. If it’s something you love and want to have as a possibility in the future, do it. I can’t imagine my life without psychology and mental health education.
  7. Open yourself up to new experiences. Would you believe me if I said the first time Cyndi made me listen to KPop, I was like “Dear God I’ll never learn all their names, I don’t think I could get invested in this” Flash forward to today and I can literally tell you who each member of BTS is just by looking at their fingernails. You never know what you’ll find out there. I found an adorable and wonderful Korean boy group who talks about mental health, positivity, and growth in their lyrics, some of the best anime ever, and don’t even get me started on the authors I’m now obsessed or familiar with as a result of meeting new people and taking recommendations. Go listen to BTS.
  8. Make sure to treat yourself to a Starbucks or the equivalent to that once a week. Trust me on this. It’s such a small thing but looking forward to that Starbucks has really made me feel happy. “Oh you accomplished this, here’s a Starbucks!” Fantastic.
  9. Talk to your professors. I wish I had done this more, but I did when it really counted. I love talking with my professors, because I got lucky to have a lot of great ones. They’re there to help you out and they really want to see you succeed. Their doors are always open.
  10. Buy post it notes. Lots of them. They come in handy for taking notes.
  11. Make sure to get out with your friends at least once or twice a week, work can wait, friendship is forever.
  12. Last but not least, don’t get super drunk, okay? All the drunk people I’ve encountered around campus are a pain in the ass. Except ironically freshman year. Damn I had the best suite freshman year, shoutout to my freshmen suite, I love y’all. Seriously, watch yourself on those vodkas and beers and mimosas and stuff or else your parents will tell me and then I’ll sneak into your room and put 100 layers of hairspray in your hair.

That’s really the best I’ve got to offer you.


Me right now during all these finals


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