Okay, I’ve been putting this off but no longer. I haven’t even posted the few selfies I got with friends at graduation yet, because I’m not too good at celebrating big events. It’s kind of hilarious. I celebrate things like WOOHOO I MET A DOG TODAY AND IT LICKED MY HAND, THIS WAS GREAT! And then things like COLLEGE. GRADUATION. I sit there like “wow this is a lot”. I think because I was super super anxious during the ceremony. Let me tell you why.
Normally, there’s that whole pomp and circumstance yadda yadda as the graduates (me) walk in, right? Emerson was like NAH MAN. NO WE’RE GOING CRAZY. And I walked into a stadium of cheering people and LOUD ASS DRUMMING AND SUPER LOUD MUSIC WITH FACULTY ON EITHER SIDE OF US CLAPPING AND STUFF. Now, that’s really nice. It is, and I appreciate how nice the ceremony was. But holy moley. I was not expecting that, and if I’m not expecting huge loud noises and excitement and a lot of attention, then I’m gonna have a bad time. So I’m like shaking and about to throw up as I’m walking to my seat, when suddenly, I hear my family. My family is awesome, and I feel kind of bad because they were sitting right up front in the back of the stadium. My aunt and little cousin showed up with my parents. My older cousin who lives in Boston was there. And even my brother FLEW IN FROM MARYLAND DURING HIS OWN FINALS WEEK A DAY BEFORE AN ACCOUNTING FINAL TO BE THERE. So they all went all out to get there, and I heard them but I was like NO MAN. NO IF I DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN FOCUS ON MOVING MY FEET AND BREATHING I’LL BURST INTO TEARS RIGHT HERE. So I legit kept my head down and kept walking.
Once I sat down all was well. I even saw my psych professor who helped me with my anxiety and who I still see for coffee once in a while, and she saw me and waved and mouthed “Congratulations” so that put me at ease too. Walking on stage to get my diploma (JK mine came in the mail in January cause I graduated in December heheheh) was not as bad as I thought. I did the same thing, looked straight ahead and told myself to breathe. It worked, I didn’t fall or anything so that was great.
But honestly I was just thinking about my time at Emerson and it’s been really great, despite some wild hiccups. Freshmen year was awesome. I knew my roommate from a summer program we both did so we decided to room together. Shout out to Nikki because I still have that “Pinkerrific” song stuck in my head after four years lol. Also Casey and Allie are hilarious and I love them so much. I was super happy to see them both at graduation and they’re doing so well and I was really blessed with meeting such fun people right off the bat. Then there was my other suitemate Lissa who gave the most amazing speech for our class at graduation too. She was super perfect for it, because I remember any emotional problems or anything I was having Lissa and I could always talk about, and she was always there to give me a hug if I got overwhelmed or anything.
It also reminds me of a classmate who I was friends with who didn’t make it to graduation who Lissa mentioned in her speech that made me tear up. This classmate was actually the first new person at Emerson I met when I was scared I wasn’t going to meet anyone and be able to make friends. I was a lot more introverted then, and I was sitting alone at the dining hall and this girl showed up and was like, “Hey can I sit with you?” And we had such a nice conversation about where we were both from and stuff like that. She was so sweet and nice and we even planned on having a movie night at some point. When classes started I walked into my Speech class, the one I was most afraid of because duh, introvert, and immediately relaxed because I saw she was sitting in the same class. She always had a smile and was super passionate about anything she had to say in class, and she was such a joy to be around. Unfortunately, she was good at hiding a lot of her sadness, because early October, the President of Emerson sent out an email to us saying she’d passed away in her dorm room the day before. My suitemate had mentioned casually that someone died and we got an email, but I wasn’t expecting it to be someone I knew, much less looked up to and admired. I actually had to run and check Facebook to make sure there wasn’t a mistake, maybe it was someone else with the same name and I was jumping to conclusions. It was devastating, and her father came to the college to all her classes to make sure that all of us were doing okay. He explained some things about her life that I don’t want to go into because that was his story to tell to the people he chose to, but then we ended with telling fun stories about her and things we remembered and appreciated about her. Goodness I’m crying now writing this. There was a service for her at the college, and I went, and Lissa went with me, and I still have the little program they gave us with a prayer on it. I keep it in my safe with other special stuff, and so I was thinking about that a lot these past few weeks. It’s part of why I’m so hell-bent on giving everyone even the tiniest bit of kindness, because I only knew her for a month and a half and her smile and attitude made such a huge impact. So I kept thinking at graduation “she was so amazing, she should be here” and hearing her name was like the best part of the ceremony for me. Thanks Lissa if you’re reading this! You rock!
So always try to help others and make them smile.
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that to go as long as it did, but I never really talked too much about that to other people, besides my RA at the time and of course my therapist. I guess it was good to actually write all of that.
But the next few years were great too because my sophomore year I roomed with freshmen and that was where I met……….Cyndi…………..(bitch).
Yes, we all know Cyndi. Deadass I never thought out of all my suitemates I would be closest to Cyndi. If I were stress crying or throwing up or something, everyone else would be asking if I was okay and offering to help. This bitch sat in the corner and was like, “Hey you want food? Would that help?” Also Cyndi introduced me to K-pop, flash forward to now where literally a third of my room is splattered in BTS posters and what not. Sophomore year was fine, but the best was in junior year because that’s when Cyndi and I were roommates. The funny thing? WE DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO BE ROOMMATES AT FIRST. I remember we had a huge debate in our suite because we decided to stick together, and the next dorm room had four singles and one double. The most amazing thing was that it started with me definitely in a single because I was the oldest and so I should get one. Yeah we ended up flipping a damn coin and Cyndi and I lost. OR I SHOULD SAY WE WON BECAUSE THAT WAS A HILARIOUS YEAR.
It involved putting pictures of EXO’s Suho’s face over every one of Cyndi’s posters, multiple Rocky Horror midnight shows, and our Team Cap/Team Stark rivalry. It was really a fun year. And I was happy to have Cyndi whenever things would stress me out throughout the year. It was actually pretty rough at time. I had to let a friend go because we just didn’t mesh well in how we approached things. I’m happy to still run into her once in awhile because I think she’s a really great person, and it makes me sad, but that’s just what happened. I had another friend suddenly stop talking to me and never talk to me about it. That one still kind of stings, because I don’t know what I did or what she thinks I did, but I wish I’d had the chance to clear up whatever it was that upset her so much. Yet another friend ended up saying she didn’t trust me for the past year. I think that one hurt the most, but again, I realized I had to let it go and move on. They were all people who lived with me, so seeing my suite kind of break down like that was sad. I was lucky enough to have Cyndi to help me out. She would let me be when I was sad and didn’t want to talk, or she would give me tough love like “well things might not work out so what are you going to do?” Being able to come home to a stress-free roommate was a huge plus. Here are some pictures of my BTS boy (Jhope of course with the orange hair) and Cyndi’s bias as of the past few months (Jungkookie, my child, my platonic soul mate, with the brown hair) because yu know Junghpe is an iconic duo and so are Cyndi and I.
I’ve actually had great roommates. Nikki, Margeaux, and Cyndi were all great. Senior year was my first apartment and single room, and it rocks the most, sorry everyone. I have great roommates with me in this apartment, but I definitely enjoy the solitude of my own room. I also have phenomenal friends I’ve met along the way, like Laura, Sara, Mia, Charlie, Sallie, Julio (silly Julio, we love Julio), pretty much the entirety of the WLP major. Any class I had in my major, I knew almost everyone and was at least friendly with them. We had a really great graduating class of WLPs that will absolutely kill it in whatever jobs they get (now if I could just get myself to believe I’m worthy of such praise, hehehe).
My classes were also fantastic. I discovered I could minor in psychology, and so that’s what I did. I took the writing and literature classes I wanted to take, and I got to be a part of excellent literary magazines. Concrete was of course my favorite. I went from reader to Editor-in-Chief during my time at Emerson and it was really really a great experience.
So I’m honestly happy about my time at Emerson. It’s really been great, and I’m looking forward to sticking around in Boston to find some kind of job or something. My plan is I have no plan. Kind of scary, but that’s okay. We all have to start somewhere.
Wow guys sorry this was such a long post, hopefully you all stuck around for it!!