I actually found out this was my 100th post by accident. I went to my home page and it said I had 99 published pieces on here. Haha, so this is my 100th post. What to do, what to do, as Winnie the Pooh would say. Yes, I’m a little bit emotional about Winnie the Pooh given the new movie coming out that looks adorable AND WILL MAKE ME SOB.

So what should I discuss in this post today? I’m not sure. Actually I’ll talk a little about my novel that I’m focusing on. I’ve got about three in the works, but for now there’s one that I’m feeling pretty strongly right now, so I’m working on it. I’m actually in the Boston Public Library right now and working on it. I’ve been talking with my mom about my writer’s block that’s been creeping up lately, and so I’m working super hard on fixing it. This is good though, because at first I started with struggling to write a new opening scene.

Currently, the novel is more of a novella, or novelette if you will. And reading it, I realized that while the entire scope of the story is there, I need to add a lot more depth and widen that scope just a bit on the ends of it. So the beginning was the first to get a revamp. This novel is a fascinating one, because I had it first as a 17 page short story with the entire thing there, just more of a minimalist Carver type thing. Then it told me it needed to be longer, and so I started working on it until I thought it was finished, at 52 pages. Now I’ve reread it and seen that the ending needs to be more final, like a scene or two more, because the ending felt more like a break than a book ending. Also the beginning I’m fleshing out the most because that’s where we get to meet the main character a bit before stuff goes a little nuts. Without giving too much away, she gets a medical “condition”, (that’s pretty much just magical realism condition I made up) and has to deal with it. Is it about mental illness? To that I ask? Is water wet? Considering how mental illness is something I’ve lived with every single day as long as I can remember, yeah, that influences my writing heavily I will say.

So that’s coming along swimmingly, I’ll probably be at the library for like 800000 more hours working on it. I’ve got some chicken saved at home so I’ll heat that up for dinner and make some RIIIIIIICEEEEEE. I love rice gang. I just do.

What else can I say about my 100th post? Not much. I’m still working on some pop culture posts to post to the interwebs. Currently I finished one of the many Marvel ones I’ll be doing, and also I’m writing one about A Beautiful Mind. Let me say something about A Beautiful Mind. I. Love. That. Movie. It’s brilliant and the last 15 minutes of him trying to manage his mental illness in society is heartbreaking and true and I caught it on TV when I was home last Friday and freaking bawled my eyes out. I always do that with A Beautiful Mind, and I’m not even too big of a Russell Crowe fan. I don’t even know if I spelled him name right, and this is my personal blog so if I want Russell’s name to be Rusell or Russel, that’s my EXECUTIVE DECISION HAHAHA, INFINITE POWER TO ME!!!

Sorry Russell Crowe, if you’re reading this, which I doubt you are, but you never know. Thanks for being phenomenal in this movie.

Okay so I guess this post is turning into a fancy little hodgepodge of stuff now, isn’t it? Kind of like my brain, sometimes I ramble and go off on tangents, so maybe this strange stream of conscious-esque writing fits my 100th post for a blog about me.

I have found that properly writing anxiety is hard, to go back to the novel. I mean, it really does feel like a wave of panic comes over you when a sudden strong anxious thought hits. It feels like the tide comes in and takes over my torso. But wave of panic is such a cliched phrase, I just can’t use it unless I’m out of other metaphors. I also found a long list of publishers I can send this to when it’s finished, whenever that is. I’m guessing by the end of summer at the latest is when I should be done, hopefully. I have a good feeling about this one. It’s been in the process for about three years, I must say. From short story to novelette, to novel, I like that sound of that.

In other news I guess I’ll end by talking a little about my day with Cyndi and Julio when we saw the Incredible 2. It was awesome, and the short film Bao before it was so good we all cried. And then I cried again at the Winnie the Pooh trailer. Honestly I’m wearing my Eeyore ears to the premiere because I have no chill and love to go all out in everything. You wanna laugh? We were super early to the movie and this girl who was also going to see it looked at me and said, “I recognize you from Infinity War. You were dressed up as Cap.” Yeah I was. And it’s good to know people appreciated that, considering the only people who dressed up were two other Spidermans and my friend who I went with who dressed up as Cap as well. And by dressed up I mean we both wore our Cap onesies. But anyway, the movie was excellent and well worth the 14 year wait. 22 year old me was just as happy as 8 year old me, and I think that’s pretty special.

Afterward we went to Fajitas & Ritas and had a pitcher of delicious sangria, and that was delicious. I normally don’t like eating out too much, but between Panera with Cyndi and then Mexican with all of us afterward, I think it was worth it.

Goodness now I’m thinking about food and I just realized I didn’t eat lunch. Oh dear. That’s okay. I have food at home. For now I must write.

Anyway quick thank you to all my readers who’ve read this blog, even if you’ve only read one post (even if it’s this one hahahah). I really didn’t think I could maintain a blog for this long, and even though I’ve had my hiccups and hiatuses, it’s still a lot of fun. When I get stressed, scared, or angry at things happening around me, when I feel like I’m not being heard from people, or just when  I think we should all take a moment to appreciate J-Hope or Chris Evans’ beard, it’s nice to know I’m not screaming into a void. There’s an audience for people looking to read the lighter stuff, or to explore some of my darker days, and it’s a small thing, but it reminds me that there are people out there who care about mental health, and college and friendship struggles, and who want to read and understand things. It’s quite lovely.

So I give you kisses.


J-hope with a precious kiss, these kisses are magical, enjoy yours


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